Apparently, 25 weeks was a busy one. I didn’t have time to
post, my apologies. Just a small recap of last week’s highlights in
baby-growing land:
· Two of the coolest babies were born to two of
the best people I know. Both were boys and, I’m hoping, will grow up to be as
wonderful of friends to my little man as their moms were to me. I’m so proud of
both of you!
· September is just around the corner so I have
been busily setting up this year’s classroom and anticipating this year’s
students. Trust me, at this point, I don’t move with such vigor as I once did.
I think it’s called waddling…I’m pretty sure that’s how you would describe my
movements within the classroom and school these last few weeks.
· My husband’s birthday is this week so Saturday
we embarked on a journey to Ford Field (I know, in Michigan, that doesn’t seem
like a journey, but to a pregnant woman, it’s considered a journey!) to see Tim
McGraw and Kenny Chesney in the Brothers of the Sun tour.
· Little Man is growing like a weed and is making
sure I know it. Do you know what I also know? He no longer enjoys some fan
favorites in my household (like Mexican Monday, sleeping on my back, and NOT
getting up at 5 AM), and makes me well aware of his tastes on a daily basis.
As I am about to embark on my second turn as a “new” mom, I
realized that I have the same worries and concerns as any “first time” mother.
Let’s face it: we are all “new” moms every time we have a baby, not just the
first. This left me thinking about all of the new moms in my life, and the ones
who are about to be new moms. The following is a compilation of my advice (and
limited experience) as a “new” mom, take it or leave it.
Your baby is only a baby for a very short while.
After that, they become a toddler, and then this whole cool person that walks
and talks and is fairly independent. So many studies suggest that you shouldn’t
spend vast amounts of time holding your newborn or even not-so-newborn. Screw
the experts. HOLD YOUR BABY, and encourage your partner to do so as well! And
don’t feel bad doing so. There will come a point in time where you won’t be
able to pick him/her up at every whim and cuddle. Holding your baby will not
cause the following conditions: childhood obesity, spoiled rotten-ness,
diabetes, etc. What it will cause is an unbreakable bond. Trust me, it’s worth
it.
Take pictures, a lot of them. Show those
pictures off, every stinking one of them. Even the 35
Baby-looks-exactly-the-same-with-the-same-pose pictures, those will be the most
treasured when your baby goes off to college and gets married. The one thing I
have yet to regret is the vast amount of “same looking” shots I was able to
capture those early days. And, even though you hated them as a teenager, take
the bath shots. Just do it, they’re great! You will want to remember every bit
possible of your baby’s first days and months.
DAYCARE IS EXPENSIVE….and scary to a new mom. I
remember thinking, “A complete stranger can’t possibly take care of my baby as
well as I can!” I was right, and you will be too. The best thing for your baby
is you and your partner. However, in this day and age, it’s not always
realistic to be a stay at home mom. Let’s face it, most new moms should own
stock in diaper and formula companies. If family and close friends offer to
watch your baby FOR FREE as you go back to work, please don’t hesitate (too
much). They wouldn’t be offering if they didn’t want to do it. And the next
best thing to you for your baby?! The people you surround yourself with that
love you unconditionally. Harper spent the months of her first summer being
taken care of by nothing but family and close friends. She now has a very
special bond with each and every one of those people because of it.
A healthy mommy is a happy mommy. PLEASE TAKE
CARE OF YOURSELF when baby comes home. I learned this one the hard way. I was
so concerned that Harper was well taken care of that I often forgot to nourish
myself and, in general, take care of myself. PLEASE EAT, and if you are
nursing, EAT AND DRINK PLENTY OF FLUIDS. Doctor’s and my orders!
While I completely understand (and others will
too) the spit-up stains and day or two old hair and makeup, feel free to put on
a clean pair of sweats and do your hair for the day. You will feel better. If
baby is sleeping, sneak in a shower and maybe a chapter or two of a good book.
You will feel so much better and baby will feel your comfort and time to
yourself. Believe or not, babies sleep. And when they do, you should use that
time to do something for yourself: sleep if you need to, shower, put on a
little makeup even if your partner and baby will be the only ones seeing it
that day. You will be much more content at the end of the day.
Unless you have a red cape and blue boots
stashed in the back of your closet, you aren’t a super hero. You cannot do this
alone. Please, don’t try; just take my word for it. I learned this the hard
way. I HAD to prove to everyone (and when I say “everyone”, I mainly mean
myself) that I could be the BEST first time mom out there and do everything on
my own. That.was.dumb. It left me utterly exhausted at the end of a day.
Exhaustion for a new mom should come from taking care of your new baby, not
from doing that on top of keeping a spotless house and a happy husband. Trust
me, hubby can take a back seat for a few months. Which brings me to my next
point:
Superhero’s are overrated (DON’T TRY TO BE ONE,
I must reiterate). I am a mom. It’s way better. I make the meanest grilled
cheese on Atwood Street, play a wicked game of Cootie, can make a waffle cone
out of Play-doh with the best of them, and in my daughter’s eyes, no one kisses
an “owie” like I do. See you later red cape and blue boots….you’ve got nothing
on me. If you feel the need to be a superhero, look at your baby. In his/her
eyes, you already are one. Stop trying so hard.
YOU.WILL.MAKE.MISTAKES. Can I get an “AMEN” from
all the seasoned vets out there?! Should I repeat myself? You will make
mistakes, and it is perfectly okay. This may be the teacher in me coming out a
bit, but the only way you will learn is through those albeit scary mistakes.
This journey, whether it is your first or twenty first, is new each time. Don’t
be afraid to make a mistake, and admit it. Just to make you feel better, a
little anecdote:
I can’t believe I am about to admit this one
publically: At approximately one week old, Harper
was lying on the couch napping when the phone rang. Because, at that point, my red cape and blue boots were at the
forefront of my closet, I lept up to answer the phone. As soon as I did, Harper rolled off the couch and fell onto
the floor. What did I learn? Don’t
leap off the couch when your newborn is sleeping on it. Sounds like a no brainer, but as a sleep
deprived, trying-to-do-it-all new mom, I wasn’t so adept at the “no brainers” of the first few weeks of my
daughter’s life. There….one of my many mistakes.
I guess that wasn’t so scary, and we all came out pretty unscathed.
Make
your mistakes, cry about them even (you have no idea how hard I did), and move
on. Your child will survive even some of the scariest “mistakes”. After all,
God chose you to be his/her mother. There’s a reason for that.
I hope some (or all) of this was helpful to
you “new” moms out there. I hope some of you even got a good laugh out of it. I
know how hard those can be to come by when your baby is screaming, you are
trying to warm up a bottle, and the dog needs to be let out simultaneously.
Also, if you spent your few precious moments of “me” time with me as you were
reading, I thank you! Good luck, and believe me when I say it, you will be the
BEST mom to your children.
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