I have been pregnant my fair share of times so the title of
this blog may be a little surprising to most. What is left to reveal to a woman
who has been pregnant FIVE times?! Believe me….a whole heck of a lot!
For starters, when I was pregnant with Harper, I realized
that people don’t always tell you the truth about pregnancy. It’s always,
“Being pregnant is so enjoyable!” or “You are going to love being pregnant;
it’s such a great experience!”. I won’t discount either of those statements
because the enjoyable parts of pregnancy do outweigh the un enjoyable,
especially given the overall outcome.
However, how come no one has the guts to tell me about all the “other”
parts of pregnancy?
Please don’t mistake this as a post simply complaining
about the un enjoyable parts of pregnancy…it is not that. I just find it a
little amusing how little information people will actually divulge about the
“joys” of pregnancy.
The following are a few revelations that are new to me this
pregnancy:
1.
Being pregnant in the summer would be easier if
I lived in an igloo.
2.
Bending over in front of my husband, I’m sure,
looked somewhat attractive before. This whole
spread-your-legs-shoulder-width-apart-and-bend-from-the-waist thing I have
going on will probably not get me any more children in the near future.
3.
Babies in utero are rocked to sleep by a
mother’s movements during the day. When they are awake is right about the time
you decide to call it quits for the night and lay down. Wonderful….which brings
me to revelation #4
4.
A whole new sleep schedule sets in once you are
a mother. When you are a mother with a toddler sleeping upstairs and one
running through the football play book inside your uterus, sleep is a thing of
the past.
5.
When people tell you, “You are simply glowing!”,
it’s a lie. Sure I’m glowing….it’s because my body is no longer mine but has
succumbed to the puddle of sweat that now consumes me. You would be glowing
too…..
6.
“Charlie Horse” is far too nice a term for a
terrible pain with a 4 AM wakeup call.
7.
Being pregnant with a boy is MUCH different than
a pregnancy with a girl. For instance, I think someone installed tiny uprights
and a football play book in my uterus “just for practice”.
8.
The “first trimester symptoms” are supposed to
magically disappear once you enter your second trimester. Raise your hand if
this has never been the case: “Me, me, pick me!!”
9.
Pregnancy cravings are a thing of the past when
you have a toddler running around. No longer do I indulge in chocolate covered
goodness and ice cream at any time of day. Instead, my cravings get to consist
of the following: goldfish crackers, grapes, applesauce, and the occasional
pack of fruit snacks. All are Harper approved.
10.
Victoria Secret doesn’t care that I’m pregnant and
can no longer fit into their attire. In fact, I think they may be mocking me by
sending more flyers, ads, and catalogs than ever before. Well played, VS, well
played.
11.
Finally, maternity clothes are EXPENSIVE. Do you
know what is not?! My husband’s boxers and t-shirts….consider this a warning if
you stop by unannounced.
Although these have been a few of
my “enlightenments” since becoming pregnant, I know this cannot be all of them.
Please, feel free to share!
No comments:
Post a Comment