26 Weeks: Advice of a (not so-new) Mom

Apparently, 25 weeks was a busy one. I didn’t have time to post, my apologies. Just a small recap of last week’s highlights in baby-growing land:

·      Two of the coolest babies were born to two of the best people I know. Both were boys and, I’m hoping, will grow up to be as wonderful of friends to my little man as their moms were to me. I’m so proud of both of you!

·      September is just around the corner so I have been busily setting up this year’s classroom and anticipating this year’s students. Trust me, at this point, I don’t move with such vigor as I once did. I think it’s called waddling…I’m pretty sure that’s how you would describe my movements within the classroom and school these last few weeks.

·      My husband’s birthday is this week so Saturday we embarked on a journey to Ford Field (I know, in Michigan, that doesn’t seem like a journey, but to a pregnant woman, it’s considered a journey!) to see Tim McGraw and Kenny Chesney in the Brothers of the Sun tour. 

·      Little Man is growing like a weed and is making sure I know it. Do you know what I also know? He no longer enjoys some fan favorites in my household (like Mexican Monday, sleeping on my back, and NOT getting up at 5 AM), and makes me well aware of his tastes on a daily basis. 

As I am about to embark on my second turn as a “new” mom, I realized that I have the same worries and concerns as any “first time” mother. Let’s face it: we are all “new” moms every time we have a baby, not just the first. This left me thinking about all of the new moms in my life, and the ones who are about to be new moms. The following is a compilation of my advice (and limited experience) as a “new” mom, take it or leave it.

 Your baby is only a baby for a very short while. After that, they become a toddler, and then this whole cool person that walks and talks and is fairly independent. So many studies suggest that you shouldn’t spend vast amounts of time holding your newborn or even not-so-newborn. Screw the experts. HOLD YOUR BABY, and encourage your partner to do so as well! And don’t feel bad doing so. There will come a point in time where you won’t be able to pick him/her up at every whim and cuddle. Holding your baby will not cause the following conditions: childhood obesity, spoiled rotten-ness, diabetes, etc. What it will cause is an unbreakable bond. Trust me, it’s worth it.

     Take pictures, a lot of them. Show those pictures off, every stinking one of them. Even the 35 Baby-looks-exactly-the-same-with-the-same-pose pictures, those will be the most treasured when your baby goes off to college and gets married. The one thing I have yet to regret is the vast amount of “same looking” shots I was able to capture those early days. And, even though you hated them as a teenager, take the bath shots. Just do it, they’re great! You will want to remember every bit possible of your baby’s first days and months.

        DAYCARE IS EXPENSIVE….and scary to a new mom. I remember thinking, “A complete stranger can’t possibly take care of my baby as well as I can!” I was right, and you will be too. The best thing for your baby is you and your partner. However, in this day and age, it’s not always realistic to be a stay at home mom. Let’s face it, most new moms should own stock in diaper and formula companies. If family and close friends offer to watch your baby FOR FREE as you go back to work, please don’t hesitate (too much). They wouldn’t be offering if they didn’t want to do it. And the next best thing to you for your baby?! The people you surround yourself with that love you unconditionally. Harper spent the months of her first summer being taken care of by nothing but family and close friends. She now has a very special bond with each and every one of those people because of it.

     A healthy mommy is a happy mommy. PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF when baby comes home. I learned this one the hard way. I was so concerned that Harper was well taken care of that I often forgot to nourish myself and, in general, take care of myself. PLEASE EAT, and if you are nursing, EAT AND DRINK PLENTY OF FLUIDS. Doctor’s and my orders!

        While I completely understand (and others will too) the spit-up stains and day or two old hair and makeup, feel free to put on a clean pair of sweats and do your hair for the day. You will feel better. If baby is sleeping, sneak in a shower and maybe a chapter or two of a good book. You will feel so much better and baby will feel your comfort and time to yourself. Believe or not, babies sleep. And when they do, you should use that time to do something for yourself: sleep if you need to, shower, put on a little makeup even if your partner and baby will be the only ones seeing it that day. You will be much more content at the end of the day.

     Unless you have a red cape and blue boots stashed in the back of your closet, you aren’t a super hero. You cannot do this alone. Please, don’t try; just take my word for it. I learned this the hard way. I HAD to prove to everyone (and when I say “everyone”, I mainly mean myself) that I could be the BEST first time mom out there and do everything on my own. That.was.dumb. It left me utterly exhausted at the end of a day. Exhaustion for a new mom should come from taking care of your new baby, not from doing that on top of keeping a spotless house and a happy husband. Trust me, hubby can take a back seat for a few months. Which brings me to my next point:

        Superhero’s are overrated (DON’T TRY TO BE ONE, I must reiterate). I am a mom. It’s way better. I make the meanest grilled cheese on Atwood Street, play a wicked game of Cootie, can make a waffle cone out of Play-doh with the best of them, and in my daughter’s eyes, no one kisses an “owie” like I do. See you later red cape and blue boots….you’ve got nothing on me. If you feel the need to be a superhero, look at your baby. In his/her eyes, you already are one. Stop trying so hard.

       YOU.WILL.MAKE.MISTAKES. Can I get an “AMEN” from all the seasoned vets out there?! Should I repeat myself? You will make mistakes, and it is perfectly okay. This may be the teacher in me coming out a bit, but the only way you will learn is through those albeit scary mistakes. This journey, whether it is your first or twenty first, is new each time. Don’t be afraid to make a mistake, and admit it. Just to make you feel better, a little anecdote:

I can’t believe I am about to admit this one publically: At approximately one week old, Harper was lying on the couch napping when the phone rang. Because, at that point, my red cape and blue boots were at the forefront of my closet, I lept up to answer the phone. As soon as I did, Harper rolled off the couch and fell onto the floor. What did I learn? Don’t leap off the couch when your newborn is sleeping on it. Sounds like a no brainer, but as a sleep deprived, trying-to-do-it-all new mom, I wasn’t so adept at the “no brainers” of the first few weeks of my daughter’s life. There….one of my many mistakes. I guess that wasn’t so scary, and we all came out pretty unscathed.

 Make your mistakes, cry about them even (you have no idea how hard I did), and move on. Your child will survive even some of the scariest “mistakes”. After all, God chose you to be his/her mother. There’s a reason for that.

I hope some (or all) of this was helpful to you “new” moms out there. I hope some of you even got a good laugh out of it. I know how hard those can be to come by when your baby is screaming, you are trying to warm up a bottle, and the dog needs to be let out simultaneously. Also, if you spent your few precious moments of “me” time with me as you were reading, I thank you! Good luck, and believe me when I say it, you will be the BEST mom to your children.

24 Weeks: Confessions of a Pregnant Woman

I remember when I found out I was pregnant with Harper: I wanted to be the most well informed mother out there. I bought the books, read the pregnancy boards online, and picked anyone’s brain who would let me. Why am I telling you this? Essentially, I was the quintessential “first time mom”. I didn’t do anything unless it was by the book. And, what do you think I consulted if I was unsure of something? You got it… THE book!

Guess what has changed from that pregnancy to this one? No, not the book. But the location of the book is somewhat unknown to me……hmmm….I must be able to do this without it. Which brings me to the meat of this entry: the confessions. Did you know that women have been having babies for centuries?! Before there were books and internet boards?! Did you know that their children survived just fine?! Which brings me to Confession #1…

1.       “THE book” was a good resource, if needed, in my first pregnancy. What it should not be used as is a crutch…something to reference EACH DAY and on the hour. Now I consider it a waste of money. If you are a pregnant woman who is surrounded by mothers, DON’T BUY IT!!! You won’t need it. 

2.       Said book gave me a list of nutrients and foods that I needed to be eating daily and how many servings of each food. I did that when I was pregnant with Harper. Do you know what happened? I gained 25 pounds! I have NOT done that this time. Do you know what has happened? I have gained 6….that’s enough for me to consider sending it out with Tuesday’s recycling.

3.       By this time in my pregnancy, I had mine and Harper’s bags packed because “THE book” told me it was necessary this early. Now, I haven’t even thought about delivery. Woah….I must be a BUSY person who could care less what a group of authors tells me I need to be doing at this point in my pregnancy.

4.       I indulge my cravings, period. I don’t make myself wait because they may or may not be healthy. That just makes me want the item more and eat it in excess. If I want Keebler elf fudge filled cookies at 10:00 at night, I get them. Even if it means trekking to Meijer in the dark…..or making Mike do it.

5.       I let people do things for me. GASP!!!!!! What a concept! When I was pregnant with Harper, I HAD to do everything myself because I didn’t want to show weakness. Do you know what I learned? I was A. exhausted at the end of each day, and B. people only offer because they WANT to help! What a novel idea……

6.       If my house doesn’t get deep cleaned, or even partially cleaned every Sunday, the world does NOT stop! Holy cow! This has taken me some time to learn. However, the cleanliness of my house (and I assure you, this one is still a work in progress), will NOT make a difference in the health of my unborn child while in utero.

7.       I am six months pregnant. I move slower. GET OVER IT! Pass me: in the grocery store, on the sidewalk, wherever you may encounter me.

8.       Weight is redistributed when you are pregnant to allow for your bundle of joy to grow. While it may not be attractive to waddle, it is more comfortable. If you see me “waddling”, please don’t say anything. Pregnant women still don’t like to be told they’re doing it, even if it’s on purpose because it’s more comfortable. 

9.       I drive my husband crazy. And…I enjoy doing it. I know what pushes his buttons, and I push them. Now, this is probably not JUST a pregnancy confession. However, I find that pregnant women can get away with A WHOLE LOT MORE just by being pregnant. My advice to every pregnant woman….use this one to your advantage every now and again!

10.   Even though, “THE book” has been conveniently misplaced, I do have a phone app. that allows me to stay updated on how baby is growing. That part is super neat! If you don’t have one, get one!

11.   Said phone app. gives a produce reference each week as to the expected length of baby. I DO check those items out in the produce aisles just to see….

12.   Final confession: Because I am not so wrapped up in the “should’s, would’s and could’s” of pregnancy, I am thoroughly enjoying each relatively new experience.

I guess my biggest piece of advice to pregnant (and new) moms is this: If it makes you feel better to have a piece of reference material in your house, go ahead and buy it. Just do me a favor, don’t do everything by “THE book” because you are going to miss the little things and not enjoy your pregnancy or new baby.

In the meantime, “Little Man” as we are now affectionately referring to Baby Boy, is growing like a weed. He also makes his presence known on a daily AND nightly basis. That is my all time favorite part of pregnancy. I will miss it when he is finally here….

Okay, okay, one more confession (but this one snuck up on me due to the previous paragraph):

13.   It IS okay to miss being pregnant when your bundle of joy arrives. You spent the better part of a year being pregnant and enjoying things from the inside. Don’t feel guilty.

23 Weeks: Pregnancy Revelations

I have been pregnant my fair share of times so the title of this blog may be a little surprising to most. What is left to reveal to a woman who has been pregnant FIVE times?! Believe me….a whole heck of a lot! 

For starters, when I was pregnant with Harper, I realized that people don’t always tell you the truth about pregnancy. It’s always, “Being pregnant is so enjoyable!” or “You are going to love being pregnant; it’s such a great experience!”. I won’t discount either of those statements because the enjoyable parts of pregnancy do outweigh the un enjoyable, especially given the overall outcome.  However, how come no one has the guts to tell me about all the “other” parts of pregnancy? 

Please don’t mistake this as a post simply complaining about the un enjoyable parts of pregnancy…it is not that. I just find it a little amusing how little information people will actually divulge about the “joys” of pregnancy. 

The following are a few revelations that are new to me this pregnancy:

1.       Being pregnant in the summer would be easier if I lived in an igloo.

2.       Bending over in front of my husband, I’m sure, looked somewhat attractive before. This whole spread-your-legs-shoulder-width-apart-and-bend-from-the-waist thing I have going on will probably not get me any more children in the near future.

3.       Babies in utero are rocked to sleep by a mother’s movements during the day. When they are awake is right about the time you decide to call it quits for the night and lay down. Wonderful….which brings me to revelation #4

4.       A whole new sleep schedule sets in once you are a mother. When you are a mother with a toddler sleeping upstairs and one running through the football play book inside your uterus, sleep is a thing of the past.

5.       When people tell you, “You are simply glowing!”, it’s a lie. Sure I’m glowing….it’s because my body is no longer mine but has succumbed to the puddle of sweat that now consumes me. You would be glowing too…..

6.       “Charlie Horse” is far too nice a term for a terrible pain with a 4 AM wakeup call.

7.       Being pregnant with a boy is MUCH different than a pregnancy with a girl. For instance, I think someone installed tiny uprights and a football play book in my uterus “just for practice”.

8.       The “first trimester symptoms” are supposed to magically disappear once you enter your second trimester. Raise your hand if this has never been the case: “Me, me, pick me!!”

9.       Pregnancy cravings are a thing of the past when you have a toddler running around. No longer do I indulge in chocolate covered goodness and ice cream at any time of day. Instead, my cravings get to consist of the following: goldfish crackers, grapes, applesauce, and the occasional pack of fruit snacks. All are Harper approved.

10.   Victoria Secret doesn’t care that I’m pregnant and can no longer fit into their attire. In fact, I think they may be mocking me by sending more flyers, ads, and catalogs than ever before. Well played, VS, well played.

11.   Finally, maternity clothes are EXPENSIVE. Do you know what is not?! My husband’s boxers and t-shirts….consider this a warning if you stop by unannounced.

Although these have been a few of my “enlightenments” since becoming pregnant, I know this cannot be all of them. Please, feel free to share!

22 Weeks: Babybump….Babymoon!

I know, I know….its been a few weeks since my last post. I apologize; in all honesty, I have been basking in my newfound pregnancy excitement. It has been three and a half years since I have made it this far in a pregnancy and I have been celebrating!

Given our somewhat hectic lifestyle and busy summer, I had yet to take a “bump” photo. By now, in Harper’s pregnancy, I think I had five. Poor baby boy…he is already suffering from second child syndrome. So many parents have told me that the first baby always has scrapbook after scrapbook and photo album after photo album of memories, firsts, and well, simply cute little snapshots. The second baby, however, is usually not so lucky, due to the busy lifestyle of a mom with said first child. I was determined to not let that happen to baby boy. Each of our children is a miracle and I plan to document each little milestone or idiosyncrasy just as I had with Harper. This is SO not the case, already.

I have started to develop quite the baby bump. Surprisingly, at this point in my pregnancy, I am not as round and robust as I was 3 ½ years ago when I was pregnant with Harper, much to my surprise. Given that I am a woman of limited stature (I don’t stand even five feet tall) and am working on my fifth pregnancy in less than four years, I expected to be out-to-here already. The fact that I am not is cause for celebration, and maybe a trip to the local ice cream joint. I mean, some of my pre-pregnancy clothes still fit, and I need to try out my new maternity purchases….

Given said busy summer, Mike had decided (with a little prodding from his burgeoning wife) that we were in need of a vacation sans Harper. What an idea! A vacation?! Without the three year old?! Without all of the toys?! Without...gasp…the puppy?! Wow….I was a lucky woman. He also made it known that this would probably be our last chance for a vacation before the baby, given that football and the start of the school year are just around the corner. We affectionately named our mini-vacation “Babymoon 2012”. 

Because I am a very Type-A, OCD person, I usually plan all of our vacations/excursions/trips down to the last detail. I was informed that this was not to be the case. Have you ever tried telling someone with my tendencies that they are going to have no involvement, no control, whatsoever? Allow me to let you in on a little secret….it doesn’t go over well. Several “Are you sure you don’t want my help?” and way too many “Where are you taking me, anyway?”’s later…Mike planned our vacation with absolutely no involvement from his control freak wife. Who wants to give this guy an award?! Planning a romantic getaway is a feat in itself, but doing it with my personality right next to him is freaking amazing!

While we are at it, have you ever tried packing for an unknown destination with unknown weather and unknown activities??! Have you ever been five months pregnant and a woman trying to do just that?! Enter my Type-A personality and OCD tendencies….there IS a reason I AM THE PLANNER! I am known to grossly over pack for even the smallest trip. This time…I dug out our largest suitcase and filled it! THERE, Mike, THAT WILL SHOW YOU! You have to carry this suitcase all weekend! Ha…

After dropping off Harper and the puppy for the weekend, we were on our way to the surprise locale. Now, I am a pretty intuitive person, and I realized after we merged onto I-75 North that we were probably heading to a destination somewhere in our great mitten states “north”. Pretty smart, aren’t I?! After countless hours in the car, and several rest stops later, we arrived in Mackinac City. He knows me pretty well, that he gets credit for, even if I did feel as though my car had been hijacked and myself kidnapped because of all the secrecy going on around me. 

Not only had Mike planned our vacation to one of my Bucket-list destinations, but he literally planned our entire trip, day by day, excursion by excursion. What a guy! Mike had booked us a beautiful hotel room complete with jacuzzi tub (the way to just about any pregnant woman’s heart), scored a welcome basket full of Mackinac City’s finest goodies, and planned a weekend that I was sure to never forget.

I won’t go into all of the details but give you some of the highlights of Babymoon 2012: We spent Saturday walking around Mackinac City, enjoying its shops and fantastic food, ending our day with a trolley ride around the city and a romantic sunset stroll along the beach. Sunday was spent lunching with my brother in St. Ignace and enjoying Fort Michlimackinac (make fun all you want…I am a MAJOR history buff), the fishing pier in Mackinac City, and capped off with a sunset cruise underneath the Mighty Mac (by far, the coolest thing Mike has ever done for me!). We set out Sunday evening after our cruise to Mike’s parent’s cabin in Mancelona where we spent the night. Monday morning, we set off for home, stopping at 3:00 for a doctor’s appointment.

From beginning to end, Mike made Babymoon 2012 an incredibly memorable vacation. Our doctor’s appointment went well. Baby boy’s heartbeat was nice and strong at 143, and our next visit will provide us with another chance to gaze at the marvel that is our precious baby boy.

Now, enjoy a few pictures from our trip!

Day 1: LOVE him!

 We always sneak in a game of mini-golf while on vacation. It was a favorite date night for us before we were married, and we get a little nostalgic each time we "putt".

Sunset stroll on the beach

BUMP photo! 22 weeks...please don't mind that I look utterly exhausted....I was....

Dipping our toes in Lake Huron

Not the best picture of me (Mike looks great!), but a really cool shot of the Mighty Mac and sunset between us!

Fort Michlimackinac...and another bump photo op!

Sunset cruise under the bridge!

It’s a ……

{WARNING: I will reveal the gender during this post, and some of you may want to scroll to the end, but I promise you….read all the juicy details in between! I won’t let you down!!}

The long, awaited day had finally arrived. I had spent the last four weeks agonizing, anxious, and more or less a pain in my husband’s rear while we waited to see (and hear) how our bundle of joy was doing. I couldn’t shake that kid waiting for Christmas feeling and it was getting worse by the hour on the morning of June 25, 2012. Mike was working a half day and due home around 1:00 P.M. so that we could be on the road no later than 2:15. I had to keep telling myself, “I can handle this…five more hours; four more hours; when Mike gets home it will only be two hours and fifteen minutes; once we start driving it will only be one more hour; when we get there it will be a matter of minutes”. You would think this may have helped curb my can’t-wait-to-see-my-baby syndrome…it didn’t. I was worse than your quintessential kid waiting for Christmas – this was my Christmas and I was growing more impatient by the minute.

This was happening for three reasons: #1. We were due to find out baby’s gender and that was a brand new experience for us (with Harper, we opted to wait until delivery to find out the gender and it was THE BEST SURPRISE OF MY LIFE); #2. It had been four agonizing weeks since I had last heard my baby’s heartbeat and been reassured that he or she was doing marvelously; #3. I had essentially waited a VERY long year and a half for the moment that I would be almost halfway through a successful pregnancy and able to breathe (a little, not completely) easier.

The good news is that I survived the wait, the four week wait, and the multiple hours wait. We hit the road a little early (I told you I was anxious) so that we could arrive our appropriate fifteen minutes before our appointment time.  Remember those feelings of extreme anxiety and waiting-for-the-other-shoe-to-drop?? I had been doing very well with them as of late, until we were about half way to our appointment. My last ultrasound had been at nine weeks, and I had been down this road before: successful nine week ultrasound with a devastating ultrasound later in my pregnancy. I was growing terrified with each mile Mike drove and I rode. This couldn’t be a repeat of my last pregnancy; God wouldn’t let that happen…..would he??

We arrived early to our 3:15 appointment time, signed in, and took a seat. Apparently, I am REALLY good at making sure I have a full bladder for ultrasounds, because, if I moved just right in my seat, I was sure I was going to create a MAJOR mess right there. It didn’t help that the ultrasound technician was running behind and we didn’t get in until after 3:30. It also didn’t help that we were going to be spending a considerable amount of time with a different ultrasound technician. Until now, I had been seeing the same ultrasound technician each time I went in. She was there for all of my blissful ultrasounds with Harper and my devastating ultrasounds with babies #2, 3, and 4. 

I am going to digress for a minute: when you have a history such as mine, you look for all possible ways to avoid reliving those nightmarish days. When it comes time for appointments, you only want to deal with people familiar with your history because you know they will be sensitive. Not that other people aren’t, but if they haven’t reviewed my file, there are just certain questions people ask to make conversation, at no fault of their own. I cringe every time I have to deal with someone I haven’t seen before: it usually ends with awkward silence and me on the verge of tears.

We were called back to a different ultrasound room with a different technician. I am not adept to change…it’s a major fault of mine, so this was causing even more anxiety as I walked to the room and eventually slid onto the ultrasound table. My wonderful husband held my hand the entire time: while sitting in the waiting room, walking back to the room, and even while I was managing to maneuver myself onto the table. He never let go; he’s pretty intuitive and knows that all I need in the way of reassurance from him is to know that he is there.

The ultrasound started as usual:

“I have you down as 18 weeks, is that correct?” “Yes, 18 weeks on the dot.”

“Would you like to find out the gender?” (Turns head to husband…just to double check) A unanimous “YES!” rang throughout the room.

“Let’s get started”

{Insert an enormous inhale and held breath}.

THANK GOD! There was a very strong heartbeat right away that allowed for me to exhale and not make my face look as though I had just stood on my head for an extended period of time. Now, Mike and I, no matter how “Old Wives Tale” it is, have always put some truth in the whole heartbeat-determining-gender thing. Harper’s heartbeat was always high, and we have researched that, at times, a boy’s heartbeat is generally low (130’s-140’s). Do I know that this is just a myth and cannot really determine gender? YES! Do I still use it to make an educated guess! YOU BET! So, when our ultrasound technician told us the heartbeat was very strong at 154, I was certain she was getting ready to tell us we would be blessed with another curly haired baby girl. Mike was also convinced, going into this appointment, that we were having a girl and his life was about to be overrun by women telling him what to do (Don’t let him fool you…he enjoys that aspect of his life!!)!

The appropriate measurements and photos were taken, and the time had finally arrived: GENDER TIME! I already had a little sneak peek as baby would NOT stop moving and the ultrasound wand had visited that area once, very very quickly. I had a sneaking suspicion as to baby’s gender, but I’m not trained…so what do I know?!

I know now is the time that you are expecting me to reveal whether or not Baby Aguirre is a boy or girl. I gave the disclaimer at the beginning that you would need to read ALL the details, so I’m not going there just yet.

After an exciting ultrasound appointment, a few tears shed by both my husband and myself, and oodles of pictures later, we were visiting our doctor. Everything looked good as far as my health during pregnancy was concerned: blood pressure was excellent, baby sounded good and I had yet to gain any weight (Don’t scold, I’m still carrying residual weight from previous pregnancies, and my doctor isn’t concerned).

Are you ready? Have I tortured you long enough? Below I have posted beautiful photos of our newest addition: I hope you enjoy them as much as we have. The last one will reveal the gender.

Baby’s sweet little face (albeit a little hard to discern), and cute button nose.

Baby’s profile…head, face, neck, and body.

Front view of baby’s face: if you look closely you can see eyes, a nose, and a tiny little mouth; as well as body and hand.

Baby BOY Aguirre, our newest addition!!